Hairy Ticks: The Word-of-Faith Movement's Greatest Hits

But godliness with contentment is great gain, ⁷ for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. ⁸ But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. ⁹ But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. ¹⁰ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. ~1 Timothy 6:6-10 (ESV)

We could, I suppose, fill a whole book full of foolishness coming from the Word-of-Faith movement these days. But for the sake of brevity, we'll go with a top ten. And heeeeeerrrrrrreeeeee we go!

10. Kenneth Hagin tells of a conversation he had with God that Satan continued to interrupt. Hagin asked God to silence the devil, but God said He couldn't do it. So Hagin commanded Satan to be quiet. "Jesus looked at me," says Kenny, "and said, 'If you hadn't done anything about that, I couldn't have.'" (Kenneth E. Hagin, "Having Faith in Your Faith," Tulsa, OK: Faith Library, 1980)

Oh really? Now that sounds interesting to me. What's really interesting is that God was incapable and needed ole Kenny boy to get rid of that pesky sovereign named Satan. Kenny, have I got a song for you!

9. Pat Robertson. How this guy ever got a fair percentage of the Republican vote is beyond me. He says: "Most people ask God for a miracle but many omit a key requirement - the spoken word. God has given us authority over disease, over demons, over sickness, over storms, over finances. We are to declare that authority in Jesus' name." Later he continues, "We are...to command the money to come to us..." (Pat Robertson, "Answers," Christian Broadcasting Network Partners Edition, Virginia Beach, VA, p. 76)

That's interesting. Evidently the main reason Christians aren't any healthier or wealthier than anyone else is because they haven't used their faith properly to declare what is rightfully theirs.

Just for Pat...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqCocIh3_o

8.My favorite quotable faith teacher, Kenneth Copeland. This is a good one. "Now, some folks claim you still got Adam's nature in you.Well, you didn't have Adam's nature in the first place. You had Satan's nature in you." (Kenneth Copeland, "Substitution and Identification," tape, on file with Christian Research Institute (CRI)) He continues (same tape), "Don't center on that body of yours; your spirit's where your nature is."

Gnosticism anyone? This is typical WF dualism. Spirit is good, body is bad. Spirit is divine, body is Satanic. Christianity however, affirms that God created man good. (Genesis 1) It's false to erect a dichotomy between spiritual and physical. God saves the whole man, for this is how He created us.

Kenny, I hear you love Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5J6dvMDvQA


7. Here's a gem. "We make our own promises to do our part. Then we can tell God on the authority of His word what we would like Him to do. That's right! You can actually tell God what you would like His part of the covenant to be!" (Robert Tilton, "God's Miracle Plan for Man," Dallas: Robert Tilton Ministries, 1987, p. 36)

Oh boy...where do we go with this one. I guess Mr. Tilton is sovereign. What else can we say?

A little Pam Tillis for you Robbie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz4vuBm8lr0

6. More Hagin. "You are as much the incarnation of God as Jesus Christ was. Every man who has been born again is an incarnation and Christianity is a miracle. The believer is as much an incarnation as was Jesus of Nazareth." (Kenneth Hagin, "Word of Faith," Dec. 1980, p. 14)

Now we're Jesus pretty much. More "little gods" foolishness. "I am God, I am God, I am God" screams Shirley MacLaine.

This one is for you Kenny boy. This isn't what Petra is singing about here (they're talking about fixing your eyes on God), but Kenny does indeed have a "God Fixation."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEVpOa4zPZA

5. "God does not decide the quantity of your supply! Hold on to your hat. Don't allow traditional concepts to make the Word of no effect. You decide the quantity of your supply. That quantity of your giving decides the measure of your receiving." (John Avanzani, "Faith Extenders," Tustin, CA, p. 33-34)

John, John, John. How much eisegesis was involved in the making of this idea?

Lil' Wayne has one for you, John.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkTk9gXV9mA

4. Here's a fun one. Evidently it's sinful to be poor. "You, as a Christian are supposed to be the master of your circumstances...There is no way in the world you can reign as a king in life and be poverty-stricken." (Fred Price, "How to Obtain Strong Faith," Tulsa, OK; Harrison House, 1977, p. 104)

I guess you can't really be a strong Christian unless you've got the money. I'm screwed. Wait a second, I just need to plant seeds and declare that it comes to me right?

Fred Price is a huge fan of 50s music I hear. All of the rest of us are the fools.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hrwJvdPtwI&feature=fvst

3. Remember this guy? "When Genesis says that God made man in His own image, I am convinced that it meant not only in the spiritual image, but also in the physical image. I realize many Bible scholars would chuckle at this statement, but this is the way I see it. I believe that God has a spirit body...I believe His body is in one place at one time, wherever that may be." (Jimmy Swaggart, "Questions and Answers," Baton Rouge, LA, 1985, p. 199)

Swaggart employs the same polemic the Jehovah's Witnesses and the LDS church employ to deny the Trinity.

Shai Linne's got you crushed, Jimmy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCkpKly65rA

Heck, if we really want to push the envelope, so does the recently out-of-the-closet Jennifer Knapp.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlZh_6tw5kc

2. How could I forget Benny Hinn? "Adam was a super-being when God created him. ...The Scriptures declare clearly that he had dominion over the fowls of the air...which means he used to fly. ...Adam not only flew, he flew to space. He was - with one thought he would be on the moon" (Praise the Lord, TBN, 26th December 1991). And commenting on the Trinity, Benny opines, ""Each one of them is a triune being by Himself...there's nine of them" (Benny Hinn, TBN, 3rd October 1990).

Adam, the original bird-man. And God, the Nine-in-one. This one's for you, Benny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN5rKB-izXI

1. I have to finish up with more of favorite guy, Kenneth Copeland. "The Spirit of God spoke to me and He said, "Son, realize this. Now follow me in this and don't let your tradition trip you up." He said, "Think this way -- a twice-born man whipped Satan in his own domain." And I threw my Bible down... like that. I said, "What?" He said, "A born-again man defeated Satan, the firstborn of many brethren defeated him." He said, "You are the very image, the very copy of that one." I said, "Goodness, gracious sakes alive!" And I began to see what had gone on in there, and I said, "Well now you don't mean, you couldn't dare mean, that I could have done the same thing?" He said, "Oh yeah, if you'd had the knowledge of the Word of God that He did, you could have done the same thing, 'cause you're a reborn man too." (Kenneth Copeland, "Substitution and Identification," tape #00-0202, side 2)

I can just picture the theatrics here. Copeland is a charismatic figure with a whole lot of energy. "And I threw my bible down!" The problem is, it's blasphemous to Our Lord Jesus Christ. No Kenny, it's not possible for you to atone for sins on the cross. Oh, and Jesus wasn't born again either. Was He ever unregenerate in the first place?

This is you, Kenny. Literally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQq3ZQER7_w


Oh my.

And this one is for the rest of us who reject this foolishness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxDmsJftkjw